1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,536
TURNING TO THE COMMODITIES,

2
00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:06,972
SLUGGISH HOGS STUMBLED
THROUGH CHICAGO MARKETS...

3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:10,142
WHILE CHICKENS TOOK A BATH
FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK.

4
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,578
ONCE AGAIN, TODAY'S MAJOR STORY.

5
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:17,149
YOURS TRULY, YOUR OWN FARM
REPORTS DIRECTOR, LES NESSMAN,

6
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:21,453
HAS BEEN NAMED THE WINNER OF
THE COVETED SILVER SOW AWARD.

7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,722
AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR.

8
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,625
[Male Announcer] MEN,
EVER STOP TO THINK...

9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,761
<i>WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?</i>

10
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:33,498
<i>DINING ALONE. NO
BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN YOUR LIFE.</i>

11
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:37,535
<i>ALWAYS THE INSIPID JERK WHO MAKES
OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO THROW UP...</i>

12
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,604
<i>THE MOMENT YOU ENTER THE ROOM.</i>

13
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,607
<i>WELL, RELAX.</i>

14
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,576
<i>NINE OUT OF 10 TIMES,
THE PROBLEM IS SIMPLY...</i>

15
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,578
<i>[Echoing] LOSS OF HAIR.</i>

16
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:50,181
<i>AND NOW MR. MACHO
HAS THE ANSWER.</i>

17
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:54,419
<i>NATURAL-LOOKING HAIRPIECES
THAT FEEL AS GOOD AS THEY LOOK...</i>

18
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,421
IN THE WIND... [Wind Whistling]

19
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,723
IN THE JUNGLE...
[Animal Shrieks]

20
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,825
IN THE SHOWER... [Water Running]

21
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,395
OR WHEN YOU'RE WITH
THAT VERY SPECIAL GIRL.

22
00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:05,397
[Woman] WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

23
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,700
ONLY YOU AND MR. MACHO
WILL KNOW YOUR SECRET.

24
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:13,538
SO, IN CINCINNATI,
DIAL 555-MCHO.

25
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:17,008
THAT'S 555-MACHO.

26
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,711
ASK FOR CLARENCE.

27
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:21,713
CLARENCE.

28
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:24,616
LES, YOU GOT DEAD
AIR. DEAD HAIR?

29
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,651
THE WEATHER REPORT.

30
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,887
WELL, IT'S CLOUDY TODAY, JOHNNY.
PRESENT TEMPERATURE'S ABOUT 57 DEGREES...

31
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,889
TELL THEM.

32
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:35,527
IT'S CLOUDY TODAY. PRESENT
TEMPERATURE IS 57 DEGREES.

33
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,641
NOW BACK TO THE DR. JOHNNY
FEVER SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

34
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,666
THANKS A LOT, LES.

35
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,735
AND I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY,

36
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:47,305
CONGRATULATIONS ON
THAT PROUD PORK AWARD.

37
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,742
THAT'S THE SILVER SOW,
JOHNNY. RIGHT YOU ARE, LES.

38
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:54,212
AND, UH, CONGRATULATIONS
FROM ALL OF US HERE...

39
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,715
AT THE MIGHTY WKRP.

40
00:01:56,784 --> 00:02:00,985
<i>♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪</i>

41
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,956
<i>♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪</i>

42
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:08,360
<i>♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪</i>

43
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:13,998
<i>♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪</i>

44
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:17,636
<i>♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪</i>

45
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,172
<i>♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪</i>

46
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,177
<i>♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪</i>

47
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:30,281
<i>♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪</i>

48
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,984
<i>♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪</i>

49
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,954
<i>♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪</i>

50
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,360
♪♪ [Whistling]

51
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,898
♪♪ [Whistling Continues]

52
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,967
SAY, LES. UH-UH-UH!

53
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,970
SORRY.

54
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,745
- KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
- COME IN.

55
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,450
I JUST WANTED TO CONGRATULATE
YOU ON THAT PIG THING.

56
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,656
- THANK YOU.
- YOU DON'T SEEM
TOO EXCITED ABOUT IT.

57
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,059
HERB,

58
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:17,028
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO
THE AWARDS BANQUET WITH ME?

59
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,099
I DON'T GO OUT WITH GUYS, LES.

60
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,201
KIND OF A LITTLE RULE WITH ME.

61
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,436
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

62
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:28,451
NOTHING, EXCEPT THAT I ALREADY HAVE
SOMETHING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT.

63
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,308
HERB!

64
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,546
LOOK.

65
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,828
I WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF
PUTTING THESE LINES HERE...

66
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:42,354
TO INDICATE THE WALLS OF THE PRIVATE
OFFICE A NEWS DIRECTOR SHOULD HAVE.

67
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:46,224
I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD
BE KIND ENOUGH TO OBSERVE THEM.

68
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,101
GEEZ. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

69
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,002
I DON'T KNOW, HERB.

70
00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,472
BOY, GUY GETS A GRAY HOG AWARD,

71
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,974
AND HE SUDDENLY
GETS SNOOTY ON US.

72
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:07,012
THE WET HEAD'S DEAD, HERB.

73
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,615
HI, JENNIFER. I WAS
JUST, UH... HUH?

74
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,184
OH, HEY. GOT SOME GOOD NEWS.

75
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:18,690
LUCILLE HAS GONE TO VISIT
HER MOTHER FOR A WEEK.

76
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,359
OH, THAT IS GOOD NEWS. I'M
SURE SHE'LL ENJOY THE REST.

77
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,429
NO, NO, NO. NO, NO.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

78
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,498
THIS IS OUR BIG CHANCE.

79
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,567
I MEAN, MY WIFE'S OUT OF TOWN.

80
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,769
NO ONE WOULD EVER
KNOW IF YOU AND I, UH... NO.

81
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,007
WHY NOT? I HAVE A HEADACHE.
I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR.

82
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,642
MY MOTHER'S IN
TOWN. I'M ENGAGED. OH.

83
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,945
WHAT'S THIS? IT'S A MEMO.

84
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,848
SEE? RIGHT THERE AT
THE TOP, IT SAYS "MEMO."

85
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,853
WAIT, WAIT! WAIT
A MINUTE! HOLD ON.

86
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,422
I CAN'T DO THIS. LISTEN TO THIS.

87
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:54,325
"IN KEEPING WITH THE PRESIDENT'S
GUIDELINES TO CUT DOWN ON EXPENSES,

88
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:59,130
THERE WILL BE NO MORE THREE-MARTINI
EXPENSE ACCOUNT LUNCHES AT WKRP."

89
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:02,601
- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

90
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,982
YOU TRY TO SELL TIME ON THIS
RADIO STATION TO A SOBER CLIENT.

91
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,640
IT CAN'T BE DONE.

92
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:12,010
AND YOU CAN TELL MR. CARLSON
HE CAN STICK THIS MEMO...

93
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:15,413
MORNING. ON THE BULLETIN
BOARD, RIGHT WHERE IT BELONGS.

94
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,194
GOOD MORNING, BIG GUY. HOW'S
IT GOING? N-NOT NOW, HERB.

95
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,752
SURELY. [Clicking Heels]

96
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,289
- YES?
- LES, THIS IS MR. CARLSON.

97
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:27,492
JUST HEARD ABOUT YOUR
AWARD. UH, CONGRATULATIONS.

98
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,227
THANK YOU, MR. CARLSON.

99
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,297
HEY, JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
THAT WE'RE ALL VERY PROUD OF YOU.

100
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,601
AND THE STATION'S GONNA PICK UP THE
TAB FOR THE BANQUET FOR YOU AND A DATE.

101
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,470
THANK YOU, MR. CARLSON.

102
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,440
ABOUT THIS MEMO...

103
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:46,377
HOW CAN YOU CUT OUT BUSINESS
LUNCHES AND STILL PAY FOR PIG BANQUETS?

104
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,781
LISTEN. YOU GET AN AWARD, AND
WE'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

105
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,285
COME ON, JENNIFER. I FEEL
ANOTHER MEMO COMING ON.

106
00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,858
MARK MY WORDS. YOU GET RID OF THE
BOOZE, YOU GET RID OF THE BUSINESS.

107
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:04,440
IT'S STATION POLICY NOW, HERB,
AND IT'S OUR DUTY TO STAND BEHIND IT.

108
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,610
"IT'S STATION POLICY NOW, HERB,
AND IT'S OUR DUTY TO STAND BEHIND IT."

109
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,268
I BELIEVE IN
FOLLOWING RULES, HERB.

110
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,382
GOOD. WHY DON'T YOU
JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS?

111
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,906
I AM A MEMBER OF THE BOY SCOUTS.

112
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:20,311
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
HEY, LES. CONGRATULATIONS.

113
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,341
OH, THANK YOU, ANDY. SURE.

114
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,316
OH, ANDY, AS PROGRAM DIRECTOR,

115
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,385
PERHAPS IT WOULD BE PROPER FOR<i> YOU</i>
TO ACCOMPANY ME TO THE AWARDS BANQUET.

116
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,488
NO, GET A DATE, LES.
ENJOY YOURSELF.

117
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,625
RIGHT. ENJOY MYSELF.

118
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,194
WHO YOU GOT IN MIND, LES?

119
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,263
I DON'T KNOW ANY WOMEN.

120
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,234
WAIT. THERE'S MRS. ROMBAUER,
THE WIDOW NEXT DOOR.

121
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:46,904
MAYBE SHE'D GO WITH ME. SHE'S
STARTING TO LOSE HER HAIR TOO.

122
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:50,642
IT SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT
MATCH. LEAVE LES ALONE, HERB.

123
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:54,279
OH, HERB'S RIGHT, BAILEY. LOOK AT ME.
WHO WOULD GO OUT WITH A GUY LIKE ME?

124
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:57,582
ALL RIGHT. COME ON NOW.
DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN.

125
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,652
THAT'S THE FIRST
RULE IN GIRL-GETTING.

126
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,621
RULE NUMBER TWO: DRESS SHARP.

127
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,125
LOOK AT THIS BAGGY YOU GOT ON.

128
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,127
AND A BOW TIE?

129
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,063
IT SAYS, "HI. I'M
REMARKABLY DULL."

130
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,380
NEW MEMO. OH, TERRIFIC.
WHAT'S THIS ONE ABOUT?

131
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,403
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY.

132
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,472
IT'S THREE PAGES LONG. I KNOW.

133
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,909
THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF IN
THERE ABOUT VALLEY FORGE.

134
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,847
DO WE GET THE DAY OFF? I
DON'T KNOW. IT NEVER SAYS.

135
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,516
JENNIFER.

136
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,920
- I THINK YOU CAN HELP US OUT.
- WHAT IS IT?

137
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:39,323
WOULD YOU LET LES PRACTICE
ON YOU FOR A MINUTE?

138
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:43,094
PRACTICE WHAT?

139
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,824
HE NEEDS TO GET A
DATE FOR THE BANQUET

140
00:07:44,848 --> 00:07:46,798
TOMORROW NIGHT, AND
HE NEEDS A FEW POINTERS.

141
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,800
THAT'S ALL. WHAT KIND?

142
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,835
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS, HERB.

143
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,405
NOTHIN' TO IT. THIS
IS HOW YOU DO IT.

144
00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:02,714
WHAT DO YOU SAY, BEAUTIFUL?

145
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:07,285
HOW 'BOUT, UH, YOU AND ME
GETTING IT TOGETHER TONIGHT?

146
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,855
YOU ONLY GO AROUND
ONCE IN LIFE, SO...

147
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,590
WHY NOT GRAB A LITTLE GUSTO?

148
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,364
I DON'T LIKE "LITTLE"
GUSTOS, HERB.

149
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,007
YOU SEE? THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

150
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,010
- SHE SAID NO, HERB.
- SHE ALWAYS SAYS NO.

151
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,891
NOW, COME ON. IT'S THE
SCRIMMAGE, NOT THE GAME. COME ON.

152
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:39,851
OKAY. YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT,
JENNIFER? ANYTHING TO HELP.

153
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:44,022
WELL, YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS
BANQUET TOMORROW NIGHT, AND, UH,

154
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,092
<i>THIS EVENT IS
VERY SPECIAL TO ME.</i>

155
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,361
<i>AND...</i>

156
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,810
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
ELSE TO DO, MAYBE, UH,

157
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:58,836
YOU AND I... MAYBE WE
COULD GO TOGETHER.

158
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,107
I'D LOVE TO, LES.

159
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:05,810
LOOK! THE GUY
NEEDS PRACTICE, NOW.

160
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,757
COME ON. MAKE IT, UH,
TOUGH. MAKE IT REAL.

161
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:12,183
- SHE SAID YES, HERB.
- AND WHEN THEY SAY YES,
THEY ALWAYS MEAN NO.

162
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,586
- IT WORKS BOTH WAYS,
RIGHT, JENNIFER?
- NO.

163
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,222
OH, GOOD GOD. SHE SAID NO.

164
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,092
MIND IF I COME IN? GOOD.

165
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,094
ABOUT THIS MEMO.

166
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,295
ACCORDING TO THIS,
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO START

167
00:09:25,319 --> 00:09:27,732
PAYING FOR ALL THE COFFEE
WE DRINK AROUND HERE.

168
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,101
- BIG GUY, CAN I
SEE YOU PRIVATELY?
- WHY?

169
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,471
WELL, IT'S ABOUT THIS MEMO
BUSINESS. I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

170
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,008
UH, WOULD YOU TWO EXCUSE US?

171
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,011
LISTEN. I'M TELLING YOU, FREE
COFFEE IS A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT.

172
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,324
ALL RIGHT. JOHNNY.
JOHNNY, COME ON.

173
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,660
I'LL BUY YOU A CUP OF
COFFEE. JUST LOOK IT UP!

174
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,952
<i>JUAN VALDEZ VERSUS
THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA!</i>

175
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,090
BIG GUY? <i>YEAH?</i>

176
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,527
THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON AROUND
HERE I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT.

177
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,296
OH? WELL, GO ON.

178
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,298
SIT DOWN.

179
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,836
SIR? OH!

180
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,940
THERE'S A WORD FOR WHAT SOME OF
THE EMPLOYEES ARE DOING AROUND HERE.

181
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:14,011
WHAT? FRATERNIZATION.

182
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,515
[Whistles] MM-HMM.

183
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,429
I FOUND IT PRETTY HARD
TO BELIEVE MYSELF AT FIRST.

184
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,765
I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU
WHAT THIS SORT OF THING CAN LEAD TO.

185
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,890
OH, HECK, NO. GEE.

186
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,958
WH-WHAT COULD IT LEAD TO, HERB?

187
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:31,662
WELL, IT ALL STARTS
VERY INNOCENTLY, BIG GUY.

188
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,776
THAT'S WHAT MAKES
IT SO DANGEROUS.

189
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,568
I MEAN, FIRST THERE'S A LITTLE
CONVERSATION AT THE WATER FOUNTAIN.

190
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,637
WELL, UH... OR OVER COFFEE.

191
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,940
AND THEN IT'S LUNCH.

192
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,743
AND THE LUNCHES GET
LONGER AND LONGER,

193
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,612
AND THE NEXT THING YOU
KNOW, SOMEBODY'S PREGNANT!

194
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,814
PREGNANT?

195
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,498
THAT'S WHY MOST OF
THE MAJOR CORPORATIONS

196
00:10:51,522 --> 00:10:53,362
HAVE RULES ABOUT EMPLOYEES
DATING ONE ANOTHER.

197
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:56,788
WELL, UH, MAYBE WE OUGHTA HAVE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT AROUND HERE.

198
00:10:56,857 --> 00:11:00,724
YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I DO HOW
TO DEAL WITH THIS SORT OF THING.

199
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,795
UH, R-RIGHT. YEAH. I MEAN, FIRST
YOU DROPPED THE DRESS CODE.

200
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,908
THEN YOU TOOK
OUT THE TIME CLOCK.

201
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,933
I SUPPOSE WHILE WE'RE BEING SO
LIBERAL ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING,

202
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:13,871
WE MIGHT AS WELL LET THE EMPLOYEES
HAVE SEX WITH ONE ANOTHER... IN THE HALLS.

203
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,841
M-MEMO. MEMO. UM...

204
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,481
TWO-TO-ONE, HERB KILLS HIMSELF.

205
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:28,486
NOW, I'M TALKIN' HEAD IN THE
OVEN, AND I'M GIVIN' SEVEN POINTS.

206
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:32,691
- HI, ANDY.
- THERE HE IS... THE WHITE SUPER FLY!

207
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:37,062
LISTEN, LES. I'VE TOLD YOU YOU
COULD GET A DATE, BUT JENNIFER!

208
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,999
WHOO! I MEAN, THAT'S
THE SUPER BOWL, PAL.

209
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:46,437
- WELL, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- I'VE GOT BUTTERFLIES.

210
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,385
OH! NOW, COME ON NOW. LES,
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

211
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,676
I CAN H-HARDLY TALK.

212
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:55,480
BE CALM, MY MAN. YOU GOTTA GET
TO KNOW YOUR INNER REALNESS.

213
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:59,384
GOTTA BREATHE IN AND BREATHE
OUT AND CENTER YOURSELF.

214
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,789
ALL RIGHT? BREATHE
IN. [Shaky Inhaling]

215
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,792
OUT. [Shuddering Exhaling]

216
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:13,431
NOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.

217
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,667
WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF? THAT'S
JUST MY WARDROBE FOR TONIGHT.

218
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,981
LET'S SEE IT. OH, LOOK OUT!

219
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,505
OW! DISCO MANIA!

220
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,942
JUST A COAT. LOOKS
VERY NICE, LES.

221
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,530
- I SUPPOSE THEY WERE OUT
OF THE ORANGE ONES, HUH?
- WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF?

222
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,882
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
ALL RIGHT! AN ASCOT.

223
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,852
GET DOWN, LESTER!

224
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,788
NO.

225
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,460
UH-OH.

226
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:45,263
LESTER BOUGHT A LITTLE DOG.

227
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,899
YOU OUGHTA HAVE THAT THING
SHOT BEFORE YOU WEAR IT, MAN.

228
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,969
ALL RIGHT. LOOK, LES. THE
WIG IS FINE AND EVERYTHING.

229
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:54,505
I DON'T PERSONALLY THINK YOU NEED
IT, BUT THAT'S YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

230
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:58,843
YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, I WOULD
GET THAT THING SOME SHOTS.

231
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,479
WHOO! UH-HUH. [Clears Throat]

232
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,349
A MOMENT ALONE. ♪♪ [Whistling]

233
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,787
UH, MR. CARLSON'S
MEMO FOR THE DAY.

234
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,590
WHAT'S THIS ONE ABOUT,
WALKING ON THE FLOORS?

235
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,526
READ IT.

236
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:19,296
"NO EMPLOYEE FRATERNIZATION.

237
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,577
NO DATING BETWEEN"...
WH-WHAT IS THIS?

238
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,101
IT'S A NEW RULE.
BUT THIS MEANS...

239
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:27,138
IT DOESN'T MEAN
ANYTHING. YES, IT DOES.

240
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,507
LES, MEMO OR NO MEMO,

241
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,410
I'LL BE READY TO
LEAVE WITH YOU AT 6:00.

242
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,991
BUT THIS IS STATION
POLICY, JENNIFER.

243
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:40,318
LES, NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS
SOMEONE BROKEN A DATE WITH ME.

244
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,320
I HEARD THAT.

245
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,893
I'M SORRY, JENNIFER.

246
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,245
HEY, LOOK, LES. I'D JUST FORGET
THIS WHOLE THING, YOU KNOW?

247
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,814
HELL, YES, MAN. WE'RE
TALKING HUMAN RIGHTS HERE.

248
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,873
I DON'T LIKE TO MAKE ANY
TROUBLE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.

249
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:05,142
LOOK, LES. I'M GONNA GET THIS THING
STRAIGHTENED OUT WITH CARLSON.

250
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,212
NOW, YOU'RE GONNA
SEE. I'LL GO WITH YOU.

251
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,048
YEAH, SOMEBODY GET A
ROPE. HEY, BUT NO SHEETS.

252
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:16,320
<i>[Announcer] IN CINCINNATI,
MR. MACHO HAS THE ANSWER.</i>

253
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:20,525
<i>NATURAL-LOOKING HAIRPIECES
THAT FEEL AS GOOD AS THEY LOOK...</i>

254
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,726
<i>IN THE WIND... [Wind Whistling]</i>

255
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,795
<i>IN THE JUNGLE...
[Animal Shrieks]</i>

256
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,797
<i>IN THE SHOWER... [Water Running]</i>

257
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,867
<i>OR WHEN YOU'RE WITH
THAT VERY SPECIAL GIRL.</i>

258
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:34,772
<i>[Woman] WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! ONLY YOU
AND MR. MACHO WILL KNOW YOUR SECRET.</i>

259
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:39,577
<i>SO, IN CINCINNATI,
DIAL 555-MCHO.</i>

260
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:43,114
<i>THAT'S 555-MACHO.</i>

261
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,550
<i>[Chorus] ♪ WKRP ♪</i>

262
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,785
♪ CINCINNATI ♪♪

263
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:50,854
♪♪ [Rock]

264
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,028
[Man] ♪ YOU'RE TOO MUCH YEOW ♪

265
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,231
♪ MUCH TOO MUCH ♪

266
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,036
♪ YOU'RE TOO MUCH ♪
♪ TOO MUCH ♪

267
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,406
♪ MUCH TOO MUCH ♪

268
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,212
♪ TOO MUCH ♪

269
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,581
♪ MUCH TOO MUCH ♪

270
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,617
♪ OH, LISTEN NOW ♪

271
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,520
♪ IT'S JUST THE WAY
THAT YOU MOVE IT ♪

272
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,124
<i>♪ YOU KNOW YOU
GOT LOTS OF STYLE ♪</i>

273
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:31,562
<i>♪ AND THE WAY YOU
LOOK THROUGH ME ♪</i>

274
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,631
<i>♪ REALLY DRIVES ME WILD ♪</i>

275
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,699
<i>♪ YOU KNOW, I GOTTA SAY ♪</i>

276
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,235
<i>♪ YOU'RE TOO MUCH ♪</i>

277
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,805
<i>♪ MUCH TOO MUCH ♪</i>

278
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:43,841
<i>♪ YEAH, YOU'RE
LOOKIN' SO GOOD, YEAH ♪</i>

279
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:46,610
<i>♪ YOU'RE TOO MUCH ♪</i>

280
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,946
<i>♪ MUCH TOO MUCH ♪</i>

281
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,183
<i>♪ LISTEN NOW ♪</i>

282
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,586
<i>♪ YOU'RE TOO MUCH ♪</i>

283
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,989
<i>♪ YOU'RE MUCH TOO MUCH ♪</i>

284
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:01,725
<i>♪ EVERYBODY KNOWS
YOU'RE TOO MUCH ♪♪</i>

285
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,797
[All Arguing] WHY CAN'T I MAKE
AT LEAST ONE RULE THAT STICKS?

286
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,471
WHO IS THIS?

287
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:16,907
IT'S ME, MR. CARLSON.
LES NESSMAN!

288
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,177
GOOD GRAVY.

289
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,747
WOULD ALL OF YOU
PLEASE EXCUSE US?

290
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,936
I HAVE A BONE TO PICK
WITH MANAGEMENT.

291
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,918
YOU BET.

292
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,959
LES, HAVE YOU LOST
YOUR MIND? MAYBE!

293
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,961
UH-OH.

294
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,934
I THINK HERB IS RIGHT. THIS
EMPLOYEE DATING IS VERY, VERY BAD.

295
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,237
SO IT WAS HERB.

296
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,306
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

297
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,342
WELL, IT WAS HIS SUGGESTION.

298
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,845
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
LISTENED TO HIM! WH-WHY NOT?

299
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,892
BECAUSE HE'S JUST JEALOUS...

300
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,716
BECAUSE JENNIFER AGREED
TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME.

301
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,020
OH.

302
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:05,468
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I
THINK SHE'S JUST BEING KIND.

303
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,893
- SHE PROBABLY KNOWS
I DON'T KNOW A LOT OF WOMEN.
- I'M SORRY, LES.

304
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:11,529
I HAD A GIRLFRIEND
FOR A WHILE LAST YEAR,

305
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,878
BUT THEN SHE MOVED TO
ST. LOUIS TO FIND HERSELF.

306
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,871
IN ST. LOUIS? YES.

307
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:27,144
ANYWAY, I GUESS JENNIFER
JUST SORT OF TOOK PITY ON ME.

308
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,146
I CAN SEE THAT NOW.

309
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:33,884
AH, NO, LES. LOOK, I'M SURE
THAT SHE WANTS TO GO WITH YOU.

310
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:37,956
AH, COME ON. LES, YOU'RE
VERY... PERSONABLE.

311
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:42,894
<i>- YOU JUST WON</i>
<i>THIS PINK PORKER THING.</i>
- SILVER SOW.

312
00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:45,863
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THAT
BANQUET AND JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME?

313
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:48,432
I DON'T CARE ABOUT EMPLOYEE
DATING. WHAT THE HECK.

314
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,713
REALLY? OH, THANK
YOU, MR. CARLSON.

315
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,406
DARN THAT HERB. HEY!

316
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,508
UH, I-I'M SORRY, LES.

317
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:03,080
UH, JENNIFER, WOULD
YOU COME IN HERE, PLEASE?

318
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,449
THANK YOU.

319
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,386
LISTEN, LES. I-I DON'T MIND
THIS FRATERNIZATION THING.

320
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:13,624
IT'S... JUST THAT I DON'T
WANT ANY SEX IN THE HALLS.

321
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,997
I'LL TRY TO BEHAVE
MYSELF, MR. CARLSON.

322
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,240
[Clears Throat] JENNIFER.

323
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,076
JUST... FORGET THE MEMO, OKAY?

324
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:37,281
AND YOU TWO JUST GO AND HAVE
A GOOD TIME AT THIS, UH, PIG BALL.

325
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,919
UH, BEFORE WE GO,

326
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,267
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
COULD... OH, YOU KNOW...

327
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,226
SLIP INTO A LITTLE
BOW TIE FOR ME.

328
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,295
OH, YES, OF COURSE,
JENNIFER. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

329
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,238
MORNING. OH, HI, JENNIFER.

330
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,042
OH, UH, HOW WAS
THE, UH, BANQUET?

331
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,044
IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.

332
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:10,881
EVERYONE JUST TALKED PIGS ALL
NIGHT, BUT I WAS REALLY PROUD OF LES.

333
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,184
YEAH.

334
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:16,053
WHAT'S HE LIKE ON A
DATE? VERY GALLANT.

335
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,934
LATER HE TOOK ME TO
THIS INTIMATE LITTLE PLACE,

336
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:23,127
AND I HAD A MARTINI, AND
LES HAD A HOT CHOCOLATE.

337
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:26,864
THEN HE TOOK ME HOME. OH, DID
HE, UH, GO UP TO YOUR APARTMENT?

338
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,711
WELL, I INVITED HIM, BUT
ON THE WAY UP THE STAIRS,

339
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,235
HIS KNEES SORT OF GAVE OUT.

340
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,830
BUT HE TOOK A RAIN CHECK. OH.

341
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,982
GOOD MORNING, LES. OH,
GOOD MORNING, JENNIFER.

342
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,721
OH. I TALKED TO HERB,
AND HE APOLOGIZED.

343
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,703
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M REAL
SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING. BIG DEAL.

344
00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:55,660
SEE?

345
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,863
I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN BE
SO NICE TO HERB ALL THE TIME.

346
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,598
OH, HERB'S MY PAL. I'M HIS PAL.

347
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:04,350
FORGIVE AND FORGET...
THAT'S MY MOTTO. RIGHT, LES?

348
00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:05,374
RIGHT, HERB.

349
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,072
<i>HERB?</i> HMM?

350
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:11,809
REMEMBER ONCE TELLING ME THAT
YOU BET JENNIFER HAD A ROUND BED?

351
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,312
YEAH.

352
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,448
WELL, IT'S RECTANGULAR,
JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE'S.

353
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,226
<i>♪♪ [Rock]</i>

354
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:36,567
<i>♪♪ [Man Singing, Indistinct]</i>

355
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:48,246
<i>♪♪ [Continues]</i>

356
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,823
<i>♪♪ [Ends]</i>

357
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,926
[Mews]